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Una nuova pizza

Volevo do it for days and eventually I did. Last night, after yet another pizza delivery Lacazza I went to was in front of the oven and was slapping the dough in the air, by rotating and gliding. I stayed there staring at him until he, without looking at me, said "Fuck you, Bandini."
- What was the movie? - I asked him then.
- What a movie - he grumble, keeping his eyes on the stuffed pizza.
- What the other night at the multiplex.
- I never go to the movies, pustule, in case I go to the stadium.
- Lacazza Come on, enough with the bullshit, I do not understand why you have to pretend anything, you're ridiculous, and looks like 're battered, the pizza.
- Bandini first point: what crap are you talking about, asshole? Second point: who is ridiculous? Third, it is a pizza San Sebastian, the martyr is its essence.
- We never had a pizza San Sebastian.
- Now we have it! I've just created! For 'Gina to add it on the menu! Come on, shove off, go!
- What is the problem? Look at me I do not care if you're gay. I asked you anything about the guy with whom you you held your hand? I asked what was the movie, period.
Pizza San Sebastian fell to the ground did plonnnnf! Lacazza had turned blue. In a moment he climbed over the counter and he grabbed my neck with his hands dough: - Who is gay? Who is gay? See well to be careful what you say a fruit, I know that you were wrong with someone else, like Lacazza pussy, the cunt, it is clear? Let me be clear. View to buy a pair of glasses then, or think three times before opening the mouth of the truth - he hissed, choking.
- Mgrgrgrg - I said. Lacazza I left the neck. In my eyes exploded many small bubbles gray.
- You're crazy. You have problems. You
- that was the story of a struggle to become someone in life, and eventually I fell asleep right? - Has urlato Lacazza, poi si è piegato per raccogliere la San Sebastiano da terra e si è rimesso a schiaffeggiarla.
Lo sapevo che il suo film era meglio del mio. E comunque, io lo lascio questo lavoro di merda.

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La Fine della Rivincita

Il capo ha chiamato in riunione tutto il Reparto Creazione.
– Ho una notizia cattiva. Quale volete sentire prima? – ha detto.
Era una domanda difficile, probabilmente a trabocchetto. Nessuno ha osato rispondere.
– Si tratta del Giorno della Rivincita – ha detto il capo.
– Che è domani, se non sbaglio – ha detto con arguzia Creativo n.2.
– Non sarà né domani, né mai più. La Direzione ha deciso così.
- What? And I am now with who I blame? I have to take to beat my children? - Creative No.4 exploded.
- You have children? Since when? - Has blurted the boss.
- How? No, no! Ahaha. Children. Ah. I said "children"? I meant "lime." I'll have to take to beat my limes in the garden.
chief set for ten seconds Creative No.4, in absolute silence.
- But then we can no longer take revenge on the Department of Entropy? It's unfair! I bet there's a hand of trade unions - has grumble Creative n.2.
- No more Department Entropia - said the head, closing his hand into a fist and calling it, showing così il nulla –. Ecco la grande trovata della dirigenza. Niente più Reparto Entropia, niente più sabotaggi e scherzi, niente più bisogno del Giorno della Rivincita. La Clebbino sta per entrare in una nuova fase, più dinamica, più snella. Per voi, per noi, per tutti, si aprono nuove straordinarie opportunità. Abbiamo davvero bisogno del Reparto Entropia? La risposta è: no! Non abbiamo bisogno di essere incentivati da terzi! Non abbiamo bisogno che ci sia qualcun altro a rallentarci, bloccarci, sabotarci. Possiamo farlo da noi! Siamo liberi! Liberi di liberare le nostre potenzialità! Fare, disfare, rifare, mille volte, liberamente, autonomamente, senza intrusioni, incomprensioni. Che grande conquista! What freedom! Remember what Archimedes said: "Give me a spanner in the works and I will move the world." A psychotic
silence has hovered in the incubator room.
- What will become of the Department of Entropy? - I asked.
- All Penelopes Department of Entropy, dear No. 5, will see their dream realized. They will also have them, as other departments of our glorious enterprise, access to the Hibernate case indefinitely. Oh, lucky! oh, Elect! The Penelopes have finally found their Ulissi! - Said the head almost singing, fingers intertwined.
We left the recreation room, stunned.
- What a rip off, I feel resentful unexpressed anger, and I get sick - he growled n.4.
- told Release likes the babysitter - he said No. 3.
- What a babysitter? - Asked n.4, defensively.
- that of your limes, no?
I, I did not understand anything. Babysitter of the limes? Now even gardeners have changed their name. People are crazy.

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Effetto multisala

The other night I went to the movies with Armenia to watch a movie I can not remember the title, with that actor can not remember the name, an unforgettable experience as always. The film was a multiplex, we were in room 5, this I remember. Every so often in our movie there were scenes of silence and then during queste scene di silenzio si sentivano pezzi sonori del film della sala contigua, la 4, si sentivano esplosioni, urla, e anche un po' di colonna sonora trionfale. Il che a me faceva venire voglia di alzarmi, uscire dalla sala 5 e andare a vedere che cosa stesse accadendo nel film della sala 4. Io non capisco come mai i multisala non sfruttino fino in fondo la loro natura multisalica, per esempio agli spettatori all'ingresso dovrebbero essere dati dei telecomandi, in modo tale che se il film che danno nella sala 5 è noioso, io possa fare un po' di zapping e vedere che cosa c'è di bello nella sala 1, oppure nella sala 2, oppure nella sala 3, oppure nella sala 4, oppure nella sala 6, oppure nella sala 7, e qui mi fermo perché era un multisala con 7 sale, ma ci siamo capiti. Certo poi potrebbero esserci dei problemi, se tutti gli spettatori avessero il telecomando sarebbe uno zapping perenne e non si riuscirebbe a seguire niente, allora forse potrebbero dare il telecomando al primo che entra, che diventerebbe di diritto il detentore del telecomando. Altrimenti che senso ha fare il multisala, sarebbe come comprare una casa con 12 stanze e poi vivere sempre e solo in cucina, come fosse un monolocale.
Alla fine del film siamo usciti ed è successa una cosa, ed è questo quello che in verità volevo raccontare, io e Armenia mano nella mano siamo usciti dalla sala 5 e contemporaneamente dalla sala 4 è uscito Lacazza, il pizzaiolo di RapidoPizza, mano nella mano con un altro uomo. Io non ho immediately made two and two, because the operations do gives me a headache, I called because I wanted to ask Lacazza it was his film, "Lacazza!" I called strong.
him, he turned and left the other man's hand, I do not know if in that order, perhaps simultaneously. Only then did I put two and two, when I saw the hand of Lacazza leave the hand of the unknown, and when I realized I was five, I had a shiver.
Instead of stopping, Lacazza has accelerated the pace, moving away, hands in his pockets, and the other as well. Then I have also accelerated the pace, perhaps because I had not seen or heard or recognized.
- Lacazza! Hey Lacazza Bandini is Jimmy! - Screamed the lobby of the multiplex, and all turned around but him. I finally reached him, I put a hand on his shoulder to turn him - Lacazza me! - I told him.
- I do not know - Lacazza said, trying to wriggling.
- What do you mean - I've insisted.
- I was confused with someone else, leave me alone - he said, pulling up the collar of his jacket.
- Are you crazy? I'm taking the piss?
- I do not know what he's talking - mumbling and he jumped away, then a little 'to the other guy away.
- Lacazza is gay - Armenia said, when I reached.
- But you say - I said.
- They held hands as we are, Jimmy.
- mica But we are gay - I said.
- You've embarrassed.
- I just wanted to ask him how was his film.
Our film was the story of a struggle in life to become someone, without much panache, however, and eventually succeeds.

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Rumore di fondo

morning rang the bell. Hermes Dossi closed closet. Dominic was doing a little 'operating inside the centrifuge salad, running like a hamster any, to keep fit. Bathsheba was still in bed. My house is starting to be a bit 'too popular. Are went to open it, it was close, that I thought was dead.
- I'm sorry to disturb you, Bandini.
- Oh it's you, I thought he was dead.
The neighbor took a step back and I have squared, I think you could express some form of outrage, but to me it seemed just a clumsy step breakdance.
- Senta - has begun to speak - are the days of my apartment I hear his TV. But she never turns it off? Can not at least lower the volume?
- truly believed that she was, to have the television on. That's why I thought he was dead. For the TV on at least three days, continuously, you understand, the imagined life with the remote control in hand, lying on the chair, in an advanced state of decomposition.
- I do not even have the TV! - Shouted the neighbor, who at this point was a bit 'abnormal, do not understand why - if pperciò can do me a favor and at least lower the volume of his TV, thank you and goodbye - and gone.
I closed the door, and I was a hit. He was right. There was the TV on at a fairly high volume, and did not come through the walls of another apartment, but it was my house, it was the tv in my house, lit by three days. Hermes has come out of the closet.
- Who was he? The CIA? - He said, whispering.
- How long have is on TV at home?
- How do I know. Yesterday when I arrived was already on.
- Why did not you say anything?
- How do I know. I thought you were so accustomed.
I pulled the plug on the television and an eerie silence, dense, suffocating invaded the room.
- Jesus Christ - Hermes said after a few seconds - then power it back immediately.

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Fino a che non si calmeranno le acque

Hermes Dossi occurred at my house.
- What are you doing here? - I told him. Lately it is physically unstable in the sense that it is no longer permanently located in one physical location, the area dehumanized. This worries me, I smell the dark omens, always che questa frase abbia un senso, ma anche se non ce l'ha. Aveva con sé un sacco di iuta con dentro un paio di jeans, un maglione sdrucito e un po' di biancheria. La iuta è bella.
– È solo per un po', finché non si calmano le acque – ha detto. Ultimamente ha visto un po' troppa gente nella Zona Deumanizzata, il che non è evidentemente un buon segnale, probabilmente stanno cercando lui, sono quelli dei servizi segreti, dice, probabilmente hanno visto la puntata di Criminali Buffi che lo ha visto come protagonista.
– Sei pazzo, non puoi stare qua – gli ho detto.
– Solo per un po'. Che cos'è quella? – ha chiesto indicando il cumulo di terra ammonticchiato contro the wall.
- Earth. You want a bag?
- No. What is that? - Asked pointing to Domenico, who ogle his favorite corner of the ceiling.
- What is a gecko, is Dominic, my son.
Hermes has done a lot of eyes.
- Who is the mother?
- Eugenia.
- You mean her? - Asked pointing to Bathsheba, who was sitting on the couch and when Hermes was in the house had not stopped to fix it.
- No - I said, a bit 'annoyed - she is Bathsheba.
- But is identical to Eugenia. I remember very well Eugenia.
- By Eugenia is over.
- Ah. E, ehm, lui – ha detto, indicando Domenico – ne ha sofferto?
– Certo. Anche i gechi soffrono – ho risposto, un po' scocciato. Questo interrogatorio da parte di Ermete mi stava innervosendo.
– Senti, e come, come ha fatto a nascere da Eugenia, Domenico?
– Devo spiegarti il grande mistero della nascita?
– Magari, sì.
– È un mistero, lo dice la parola stessa.
Siamo stati zitti. Betsabea non diceva una parola. Domenico non muoveva un muscolo. Si sentiva la televisione, anche se era spenta. Non era la mia, era la televisione del vicino, penso, si sentiva attraverso i muri.
– Quanto pensi di fermarti? – ho chiesto again.
- I told you, until you calm the waters.
Now that I think about it, he felt close to the television continuously for three days. Even now I write it feels. Maybe the neighbor is dead.
- It looks like his mother - said Hermes, indicating Sunday.